Proposal

Dear love,

How much I love you, I don’t know. I am not even sure if I love you or it is some kind of infatuation driving my feelings. I don’t know if it’s the

href="/tag/love">love or some malfunction in my mind that is driving me, forcing to do things which I am doing. What’s the cause of whole situation, I don’t know. I feel like a piece of paper flowing with the waves of water, neither knowing its destination nor the reason of why it’s flowing with the water in the first place.

For any relationship we build one most important thing is the foundation. We ought to know the reason why we are building the relationship or why we want to build it in the first place otherwise there are less likely chances that it will prevail through the hardships of times. I agreed so much with it until I realized how important you are to me. With the relation I am trying to build with you, I don’t know the drive force for the thoughts of mine. It is only now that I realize that it is not always necessary for a relation to have a reason to exist. Or maybe there are reasons after all that but I don’t want to face the reasons. Maybe those reasons are far too bigger than my perception. As I inquire for those reasons and as I search for causality of al the situation, I would like to ask you one thing. Will you be mine for ever? Will you be my shoulders to rest through the tough times? Will you give me the privilege in all the glorious moments of my life to look by my side and find you sharing those times with me? Will u let me share your smile through all my best times? Will you let me wipe your tears through all your hard times? Will you accept me in your life?

I feel like you are as necessary to me as fresh air or good food or peace of heart and soul. We can live without fresh air or good quality food and practically most of us live without the peace of heart and soul. So I can also live without you but you see that the life will have lesser meaning attached to it if you are not there. What is the meaning of all the riches in life if we cannot have someone to share it with? And I believe that at most of times, it’s not the sharing which is important in its sole existence but its sharing with the right people which makes it so important. I want to share my life with you, I want to share my dreams with you and than I want to see you by my side when I strive for these dreams to come true. After all, the satisfaction to achieve the goal makes sense when we have our companions with us.

People say that this is impractical way of thinking. They say that it is immature of me to think this way about someone. I’ll say that it’s not your thoughts that drive my passion; it’s my own self that is making me think like that. I always believed in that life is about the satisfaction of the moment; the moment we live, the very moment I am living now. You see that all time that is passed in my life is now history. That left me nothing except memories to cheer, moments with grief and lessons to remember. Future is something which has not happened yet. It is something which has no mark on my life yet and so left is the present moment; the moment I am breathing in; the moment I am living in and the moment which I am not even assured to pass living.

At the end of the life I know I will be only left with this moment to look for and than I will have nothing to do except look at my past in that moment and I would be evaluating how I lived. I would be looking ahead for my eternal life. I would be the best judge of my life than and I will exactly know what I did wrong and what I didn’t. You know what I want most out of my life. It’s not riches I want and it’s not power I look for. I just want that the moment I am dying, I look back at my life and I could give a sigh of relief and say that I had a just and fair life. I just want to feel that what I did was right and not only in my view but in the view of all the people around me. I just want to feel the people praying from the core of their heart when I am passing away. But is this possible if I see my loved ones missing from my life?

I’ve dreamt of losing my loved ones, I’ve felt like being lost and I’ve dreamt of burying them and believe me that it’s nothing but sheer pain which is brought to myself when ever I dream like this. And I keep wondering that how hard it will be to do that when it takes so much just to dream. And than I know I don’t want to miss anyone from my life. But is it really possible? Can I defeat death? No, I can’t. I can’t make my loved ones, my family to live forever. Death is unavoidable and so will it be bought upon my family, my loved ones and me.

So what is it than that keeps me going on with life? What is it that makes me love life than? What is it that actually makes me live the days I know are bounded to end one day. Well, it’s the thought of looking back, remembering all the good times, remembering all the tough times and how I made through them with my family; that really brings the smile to my face. It is that thought which makes me strive for life, strive for my family and love them more than ever every day. It is this thought that make me do the hardest of things to bring them all the luxuries of life and make them comfortable among this world of cruel realities. I know I can’t defeat death, so I don’t want to lose anyone of my loved ones until death makes us apart. I don’t want any thing in this world to make us go away from each other and deprive me with the sheer happiness and bliss of having them with me. At any stage in my life I don’t want myself looking back and discovering that I missed the moments with my loved ones without realizing that how important that is.

So you see sweet heart that I simply don’t want to miss you out of my life. I can’t miss you out of life. I know and I believe that I make a connection with you. I know you are the person for me and I know you are someone I don’t want to miss from my life. I believe that we can be shoulders for each other, we can be best of support for each other. With all the understanding we have, we can be the best of life partners ever. And above all these reasons, how cannot I mention one major reason and the reason is that I do love you. I already feel you a part of myself, a part of my soul and a part of my heart.

I really don’t know if we will ever make it good together. I don’t say that I will bring you all the luxuries of life but I do know that there won’t be any less effort from my side to keep you as good as any other person in the world. I already feel you a part of my life, a part of my family and I just want nothing in this world apart us. I want to go through all the struggle of life with you and I just want you to be there when I will overcome all those to achieve the highest of positions in life and in people’s heart. I want you to be my companion through the times to come. I know there will be good moments and than there will be quarrels. I just want us to look back at every quarrel of us to be a source of ever increasing trust and love.

I don’t know if you will say yes or no but I want you to decide on that. I want you to think hard because I don’t want you to have regrets at the end of your life that you didn’t think the way you should. If you say NO, none of the lives will stop. We will continue to grow, prosper and live our lives. We might remember each other once in a while and shrug our shoulders to continue the way we live but that would be much lesser of the effort than saying YES and trying to live each other lives with responsibility, trust and love. So I request you to think hard. Don’t doubt my commitment or love but think of all the other things you want to think of. So that we can live our lives in the best way possible; either together or apart from each other.

In the end I would just like to remember you one thing. True love is not about having someone in your life but realizing the fact that the other person is of that importance to you. I have found my true love in life. Now I am waiting if fate wants me to have that through out my life.

Awaiting the verdict
Yours loving