What is Titanomachy?

Link to Source Site

The Titans of Greek Mythology were the offspring of Uranus, god of heaven, and Gaea, goddess of the earth. Uranus and Gaea had twelve children, six sons and six daughters. These twelve themselves had children, and some of them are known to us as Titans, such as Prometheus and Atlas. The Titan Cronos fathered those we now know as Olympian gods. Olympus, being the highest mountain in Greece, with its imposing summit, was believed by the ancient Greeks to be the abode of Zeus and the entire Greek pantheon of gods.

Uranus hated and loathed his offspring, and jealously banished these Cyclopes and Hecatoncheire to the underworld. Gaea was deeply grieved by this treatment, and instigated her son Cronos to lead the Titans in an uprising. Under Cronos' leadership the Titans rebelled against the cruel Uranus. However, once Cronos had replaced his father as supreme ruler, he proved to be a despot himself and failing to uphold justice, he and his loyal Titans imprisoned his brethren Cyclopes and Hecatoncheire once again in the underworld.

Upon reaching maturity, Zeus waged war against his father Cronos and the Titans. Led by Zeus, the gods fought from Mount Olympus against the Titans who fought from Mount Othrys. A ten year war waged, with no end in sight. It was at this time that Rhea prophesied the victory of Zeus if he would unchain the Cyclopes and Hecatoncheire from their underworld imprisonment of Tartarus. The one-eyed Cyclopes named Brontes, Arges, and Steropes were powerful fighters and masterful armorers. The Hecatoncheires named Briareus, Cottus, and Gyges had a hundred hands and were stronger and more fierce than even the mighty Cyclopes. Upon slaying their captor and freeing them, Zeus revived the Hecatoncheire and Cyclopes with nectar and ambrosia. In return, the Cyclopes bestowed upon Zeus the mighty lightning bolts, upon Poseidon they bestowed a powerful trident, and upon Hades they placed an implacable helmet of invisibility. The Hecatoncheire for their part wielded great stones in their hundred arms, and so armed, Zeus and the Olympian gods made war upon Cronos and the Titans loyal to him. The sky was filled with thunderbolts and hundreds of great stones, as the Olympians smote and deposed Cronos from his throne.

Having thus defeated Cronos, the Olympian gods cast lots for who would rule the world. Zeus for his part was given the skies, Poseidon was given the seas, and to Hades was granted dominion of the Underworld. The Titans were chained in the underworld prison Tartarus that once housed their brethren. The mighty Hecatoncheire were charged with their guard, and so the former prisoners became jailers of evil.

This war between the TITANS and the OLYMPIANS is known as the Titanomachy.

-- Greek Mythology of "WAR OF TITANS"

At a Wedding Dec 07

Me, Bhai and my nephew.... Life can't be better... :x

I Miss ......

And than there are people we meet, they touch our hearts and than they leave.

This is how life is, It gives you so much to live for and yet you see yourself empty handed at the end of the day.

--For the people I love most, I miss most. God bless them all, Amen !

Confused !!!!

And at times, when I know what the situation is leading to and yet i opt to try. How good it is to fight the lost battle, How worth it is to hope which you know that won't happen????????? Life is so confusing at times...

The Question

To be, or not to be: that is the question.
--Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Stronger Opinions

Lesser the facts, Stronger the opinion.
--Anonymous

Picture of the Month - December 2007

I saw this concept of Picture of the Month on one of my very good acquaintance and loved the idea...... Here goes the first picture to you SANDRA ...... This picture is one of my favorites, a true inspiration relating multiple aspects of my life with books, office and comfort.

Acres of Diamonds

Acres of Diamonds


One of the most interesting Americans who lived in the 19th century was a man by the name of Russell Herman Conwell. He was born in 1843 and lived until 1925. He was a lawyer for about fifteen years until he became a clergyman.

One day, a young man went to him and told him he wanted a college education but couldn't swing it financially. Dr. Conwell decided, at that moment, what his aim in life was, besides being a man of cloth - that is. He decided to build a university for unfortunate, but deserving, students. He did have a challenge, however. He would need a few million dollars to build the university. For Dr. Conwell, and anyone with real purpose in life, nothing could stand in the way of his goal.

Several years before this incident, Dr. Conwell was tremendously intrigued by a true story - with its ageless moral. The story was about a farmer who lived in Africa and through a visitor became tremendously excited about looking for diamonds. Diamonds were already discovered in abundance on the African continent and this farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of diamonds that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line. He wandered all over the continent, as the years slipped by, constantly searching for diamonds, wealth, which he never found. Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and drowned.

Meanwhile, the new owner of his farm picked up an unusual looking rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity. A visitor stopped by and in viewing the rock practically went into terminal convulsions. He told the new owner of the farm that the funny looking rock on his mantle was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found. The new owner of the farm said, "Heck, the whole farm is covered with them" -
and sure enough it was.

The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine...the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on "Acres of Diamonds" until he sold his farm.

Dr. Conwell learned from the story of the farmer and continued to teach it's moral. Each of us is right in the middle of our own "Acre of Diamonds", if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures. Dr. Conwell told this story many times and attracted enormous audiences. He told the story long enough to have raised the money to start the college for underprivileged deserving students. In fact, he raised nearly six million dollars and the university he founded, Temple University in Philadelphia, has at least ten degree-granting colleges and six other schools.

When Doctor Russell H. Conwell talked about each of us being right on our own "Acre of Diamonds", he meant it. This story does not get old...it will be true forever...

Opportunity does not just come along - it is there all the time - we just have to see it.

-- Excerpt from PRAVSJ

Optimism

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
-- Helen Keller

Self Definition

Its not what I am outside, but what I do defines me....
-Return of Batman

In the Arms of an Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel “not good enough�
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

--City of Angels

Why use BLOGS???

Why would I use blogs ????? The only rationale I can think of is to see my evolution of ideas, look at their validity and reason myself.

Beauty & Brains

Beauty times brain equals a constant....
--Bekhap's Law

Life and Love

How selfish is it to desire to be loved and held closely when there is all turmoil around us??????
Its confusing on as how the feeling of love is aggrevated in all its dimensions when life is a mess. Maybe love is the greatest truth of life.

V For Vendatta

"Remember, remember the Fifth of November, The Gunpowder Treason and Plot, I know of no reason Why Gunpowder Treason Should ever be forgot."

"I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any
bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak.
I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice,
intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance
coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you
need only look into a mirror."

-- V FOR VENDATTA

Close and dear

Why does the feel of need to hold someone close and dear seems so natural? Why do we want to have someone special in life when we can live without it so much perfectly? Why is the idea of completeness so intriguing? <>

Seriousness

How come people take life so non-seriously and still go through so much ??????

Pause

Learn to pause or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.
--Don King

Me @ Office.... :D

Zindagi say Dartay ho

zindagii se Darate ho
zindagii to tum bhii ho, zindagii to ham bhii hain.
aadamii se Darate ho
aadamii to tum bhii ho aadamii to ham bhii hain.
aadamii zubaan bhii hai, aadamii bayaan bhii hai
is se tum nahiin Darate
harf aur maanii ke rishte haaye aahan se aadamii hai vaabastaa
aadamii ke daaman se zindagii hai vaabastaa
is se tum nahiin Darate
ankahii se Darate ho
jo abhii aa_ii nahiin us ghaDii se Darate ho
us ghaDii ke aane kii aag hii se Darate hi
pahale bhii to guzare hain
daur naarasaa_ii ke, beriyaa, Khudaa_ii ke
phir bhii ye samajhate ho, hech aazaruumandii
ye shab zubaaNbandii, hai rahe Khudaabandii
tum yahii samajhate ho, tum magar ye kyaa jaano
lab agar nahiin hilate haath jaag uThate hain
haath jaag uThate hain raah kaa nishaan ban kar
nuur kii zubaaN ban kar
haath bol uThate hain subah kii azaaN ban kar
roshanii se Darate ho
roshanii to tum bhii ho, roshanii to ham bhii hain
roshanii se Darate ho
shahar kii fasiilon par
dev kaa jo saayaa thaa, paak ho gayaa aaKhir
az_dahaam-e-afsaan se fard kii navaa aa_ii
zaat kii sadaa aa_ii
raah-e-shauq men jaise raah_ravii KhuuN lapake
ik nayaa junuun lapake
aadamii chhalak uThe
aadamii hanse dekho, shahar phir base dekho
tum abhii se Darate ho
haan abhii to tum bhii ho, haan abhii to ham bhii hain
tum abhii se Darate ho

--Noon Meem Rashid

Originality & Acceptibility

People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell Benjamin Franklin said it first
--Comin's Law

Dilemma

You love someone you cant have and someone loves you that you can't bear.... What to do??????

Time vs Monsy

Time will make you money,
but money won't make you time.
--James Taylor

Boys vs. Girls

"i have a lot of friends who are sooooooo dumb when it comes to dealing with boys na
they are such exceptional, talented girls, but easily betrayed by guys"

The question to ask is ..... Are the females dumb or they have a different view of life than the male species???? I'd say its a different view of events. After all, nothing is absolute.... or is it ???

Worst Times

The worst time in life is when one realizes that all the actions taken in the past had no purpose, no where to lead and nothing to decide.

Technical Competency

Dont worry about technical competence
--Management Manual

Consent

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

TD Certified Professional Exam

Passed TD Certified Professional exam today.... Thanks to almighty and prayers of my parents .....

muaaa haaaa haaa :D

Purpose & Stupidity

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Free Times

Is socializing in the office a waste of time ????

and for that matter is anything in the life a waste of time??? Aren't we doing something all the time??? Even relaxing is an important part of time.... I'm confused.... :(

Islam in Cricket

I was surprised myself to see the comment of Shoaib Malik regarding Islamic world at the end of 20-20 world cup. India took it pretty seriously. Is Islam really going to some place where it should go????

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2402726.cms

Riddle of the century

Why should I get married when I'm happy else wise???

Contentment

you'll soon get a horse, stay happy with the saddle for a while

Words of Wisdom

Ira furor brevis est.
[Anger is momentary madness]
--Horace, Epistles

My Family.... :)

Nothing Better than them .....

Stunning Beauty

From "Memories of a Geisha"

Boss vs. Employee

Dramas vs Animations

Why do I like animations over serious life dramas ????

Simple !!!! leisure for me is escape from all the bad that is happening around; to all the good that I can think of..... Now tell me what is better, animations or serious life dramas???

Not happy

People ask me why I am not happy. How can I be happy when I know that even if all of my requirement is fulfilled, there are people still suffering around ??????

Tera Data Batch August 07 - Pizza Party

Time Management

Manage your time today. Be sure you have the ability to plan your own life and career.
--Management Manual

I Feel the Need .....

I Feel the need; Need For Speed.......







Need For Speed Underground 2

Path to find

Knowledge is gained by Learning;
Trust by doubt;
Skill by practice;
Love by love

Thomas Szasz

Land of Dreams

And I know that I will be bestowed with the peace that no one has seen and with bliss that no one has experienced. That will be the time when I will walk towards life believing nothing can stop me.






Fantasy Land aka Fool's Paradise

I can resist anything but temptation
--Oscar Wilde

Mystery

Whats greater ?????
Mystery of Life OR Mystery of a Women !!!!!







Final Fantasy Collection

Love vs. Reality

Once in a while right in the middle of a life, love gives us a fairy tale...

Self Description

I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious
--Albert Einstien

Optimism

We are all living in Gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
--Oscar Wilde

The Motive

And than the voice come from inside; “Dear, you need to commit suicide”. I was shocked, frozen for the tiniest of moments which lingered on for eternity. How can I even suggest something like that? There must be something wrong with me. My response is; ‘Hell No!!!!! There is no way on earth I will do that”. “But you see”, the voice raise again “You have no other choice and sooner or later you must do that. And if it’s sooner or later than why not make it easy for yourself and everybody else. And see the lighter part. You are brand conscious and as the NIKE says Just DO IT”. I put this sweet pillow of mine I call baby, on my face, hug it tight and avoided to listen to all the crap from my inside. Did it help? Well, voice from inside is seldom stopped from covering the face but a loving hug is a solution to every problems, almost every problem.

You must be thinking by now what I am and what I am writing about. Well, I am what I am; a simple, normal, unnoticed, easy to forget and yet brilliant in my own way type of a guy. Doctors say that I face multiple personality disorder. I say give me a person who don’t suffer from that and I’ll believe that this is the problem. I think my problem is only that every of my personality is strong, too strong to be dominated for too long. Doctors disagree. I don’t have problem with them disagreeing but I do have problems with others agreeing with them. My parents are worried about me; my wife thinks I am gone nuts and this is not the half of problems I am facing. And man! Am I sick of this inner me. It’s always messing with my head. It is something which has the easiest of access to my thoughts than any other thing in this world. My mind is like a baby treasure vault to this thing which it uses to dump everything so useless and this everything is really screwing my personality. If I could only know what to do to stop it from messing around in me.

This problem goes much back as I remember. I remember when I was a kid and my parents brought me toys and I was thinking that why don’t many other kids have not as good as mine and why I don’t have as good as yet many others. Does looks crazy when I look back at that but there were yet crazier things to come in my life. I grew up, went to the best of schools and met some of the classy people. Why can’t be I like them? “You are a loser”, said someone inside me and I was like “Who said that, who says so and whoever says so is a loser himself”. And than I realized I had this huge capability of thinking and talking to myself. It was like putting a question in front of my self, answering it myself, negating it and than arguing on it. It was like I was in conflict with my own self. Every time I took a decision there was a part of me telling me I should have gone other wise for higher purpose, good purpose or even the personal benefits? When I tried to act all classy, there was me telling me that I am acting like a bad bitch on this earth; like a parasite on people’s right to live and when I wanted to be saint it tells me that I cannot be the heaven angel whatever I do.

I remember myself being in love or something like love. I was telling myself that I am in the love of my life and something was telling me that I am idiot of a life time who is falling in for someone just because I want to. When I tried to break away it was again from inside that I am one big hell of a heartless cold psycho. I was so confused that I ended up marrying her and am still not sure after so many years if this is really what I wanted to do. And than the first job, that was a real nut case. It was always a big question between the duty to the country, to the people and duty to my bank account. They can never go together. When I went for the people and country it told me that I am one hell of a useless person which cant be put to any benefit whatsoever. Finally I paid the duty to my bank account, had the luxurious of houses and cars, my wife was good, parents damn happy and I could only think of one word “Selfish”. Now I don’t know why this inner self of me can leave me alone with whatever I do. I am getting so sick of that lately. Sometimes I really wish I could kill it somehow, I know would kill me too but worth taking a chance; such fed up I am. But what if this inner me is with me in the eternal life too. No way at all. That’s the most horrible thing that can happen. I think this is pretty much the reason why I am telling myself to commit suicide. Inner me wants to tease me in eternity too. I know I am too smart for that. No sweets, won’t do that. Suicide is out of question. I am not giving you a chance to mess up my eternal life. I am not doing it until I know a way to deal with you.

“You see dear, you are doing no effort. You are a failure. A money making machine no good to anybody in the world. You will die. At least die with an honor, honor of knowing that you tried to finish all your confusions and you did it successfully”.

Where did I get all this crap in my mind I don’t know but am not doing it? Maybe I do it, maybe for the sake of argument that I ended misery of so many people around me. At least there will be one day in the year when everyone will remember me.

“No, it won’t happen dear. You are never that good. Nobody will remember you”.

Come on, I don’t know how anybody can be as cruel to other as I am to myself. I can be at least remembered one day in a whole year.

“Ok, don’t cry you sissy. People might remember you one day but only for few years and fewer people only. We can’t make it an eternal practice. You should know you are a loser”.

Ok, I might be a loser but I am still a person, a breathing soul and I have my rights to be remembered. Wait a minute, just a minute. If I haven’t earned the right to be remembered by my so called loved ones than what right do I have to die?

“Well, we are not reasoning here. You know you are a loser and it’s not about your right to die. You know you don’t have any right to live. Make it easy for people around you. Look how miserable they are because of you. Just make effort once in your life: effort to die. This will solve most of problems: your problems and their problems as well”.

Effort it is and effort it will be but why shouldn’t it be in order to make their lives good, make my life good and to be remembered on top of everything. You are such a fuss but you are not taking me away from life. I am living and an effort it will be to make things good.

“Come on, don’t chicken on me. You must commit suicide, you must die. You are not going to set things right at least while living. There is simply no hope”.

Hope there is and hopes it is which is going to make me live old friend. I will make things good. I will try and I am hopeful things will be my way. Chances are there that you are right but I will let you hope that till I die my natural death trying to set things right.

“But hope is going to take you no where and hope is all….”

Shut up, hope is going to take me places up and will take you places down. I feel good now. I know now, I am not a confused person, I never was. I was just a motive less person and now I have a motive and that is hope: a hope for better tomorrow and hope for times when I will earn my right to be remembered by people around me for years to come.

Wow, it feels good now. I don’t need to be afraid of myself now. I can take that baby off my face now. I am sure that I want to see the tomorrow’s light and if that inner me bugs me again, I have this hope thing to shut him up with. Motives are strong and life is so much fun. Come on baby, let us sleep now. It’s a long struggle ahead from tomorrow.

Hartley's Second Law

Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.....
--Hartley

Description of my moment

I am doing at the moment .... nothing at all

From 'Mind your Language'

Proposal

Dear love,

How much I love you, I don’t know. I am not even sure if I love you or it is some kind of infatuation driving my feelings. I don’t know if it’s the

href="/tag/love">love or some malfunction in my mind that is driving me, forcing to do things which I am doing. What’s the cause of whole situation, I don’t know. I feel like a piece of paper flowing with the waves of water, neither knowing its destination nor the reason of why it’s flowing with the water in the first place.

For any relationship we build one most important thing is the foundation. We ought to know the reason why we are building the relationship or why we want to build it in the first place otherwise there are less likely chances that it will prevail through the hardships of times. I agreed so much with it until I realized how important you are to me. With the relation I am trying to build with you, I don’t know the drive force for the thoughts of mine. It is only now that I realize that it is not always necessary for a relation to have a reason to exist. Or maybe there are reasons after all that but I don’t want to face the reasons. Maybe those reasons are far too bigger than my perception. As I inquire for those reasons and as I search for causality of al the situation, I would like to ask you one thing. Will you be mine for ever? Will you be my shoulders to rest through the tough times? Will you give me the privilege in all the glorious moments of my life to look by my side and find you sharing those times with me? Will u let me share your smile through all my best times? Will you let me wipe your tears through all your hard times? Will you accept me in your life?

I feel like you are as necessary to me as fresh air or good food or peace of heart and soul. We can live without fresh air or good quality food and practically most of us live without the peace of heart and soul. So I can also live without you but you see that the life will have lesser meaning attached to it if you are not there. What is the meaning of all the riches in life if we cannot have someone to share it with? And I believe that at most of times, it’s not the sharing which is important in its sole existence but its sharing with the right people which makes it so important. I want to share my life with you, I want to share my dreams with you and than I want to see you by my side when I strive for these dreams to come true. After all, the satisfaction to achieve the goal makes sense when we have our companions with us.

People say that this is impractical way of thinking. They say that it is immature of me to think this way about someone. I’ll say that it’s not your thoughts that drive my passion; it’s my own self that is making me think like that. I always believed in that life is about the satisfaction of the moment; the moment we live, the very moment I am living now. You see that all time that is passed in my life is now history. That left me nothing except memories to cheer, moments with grief and lessons to remember. Future is something which has not happened yet. It is something which has no mark on my life yet and so left is the present moment; the moment I am breathing in; the moment I am living in and the moment which I am not even assured to pass living.

At the end of the life I know I will be only left with this moment to look for and than I will have nothing to do except look at my past in that moment and I would be evaluating how I lived. I would be looking ahead for my eternal life. I would be the best judge of my life than and I will exactly know what I did wrong and what I didn’t. You know what I want most out of my life. It’s not riches I want and it’s not power I look for. I just want that the moment I am dying, I look back at my life and I could give a sigh of relief and say that I had a just and fair life. I just want to feel that what I did was right and not only in my view but in the view of all the people around me. I just want to feel the people praying from the core of their heart when I am passing away. But is this possible if I see my loved ones missing from my life?

I’ve dreamt of losing my loved ones, I’ve felt like being lost and I’ve dreamt of burying them and believe me that it’s nothing but sheer pain which is brought to myself when ever I dream like this. And I keep wondering that how hard it will be to do that when it takes so much just to dream. And than I know I don’t want to miss anyone from my life. But is it really possible? Can I defeat death? No, I can’t. I can’t make my loved ones, my family to live forever. Death is unavoidable and so will it be bought upon my family, my loved ones and me.

So what is it than that keeps me going on with life? What is it that makes me love life than? What is it that actually makes me live the days I know are bounded to end one day. Well, it’s the thought of looking back, remembering all the good times, remembering all the tough times and how I made through them with my family; that really brings the smile to my face. It is that thought which makes me strive for life, strive for my family and love them more than ever every day. It is this thought that make me do the hardest of things to bring them all the luxuries of life and make them comfortable among this world of cruel realities. I know I can’t defeat death, so I don’t want to lose anyone of my loved ones until death makes us apart. I don’t want any thing in this world to make us go away from each other and deprive me with the sheer happiness and bliss of having them with me. At any stage in my life I don’t want myself looking back and discovering that I missed the moments with my loved ones without realizing that how important that is.

So you see sweet heart that I simply don’t want to miss you out of my life. I can’t miss you out of life. I know and I believe that I make a connection with you. I know you are the person for me and I know you are someone I don’t want to miss from my life. I believe that we can be shoulders for each other, we can be best of support for each other. With all the understanding we have, we can be the best of life partners ever. And above all these reasons, how cannot I mention one major reason and the reason is that I do love you. I already feel you a part of myself, a part of my soul and a part of my heart.

I really don’t know if we will ever make it good together. I don’t say that I will bring you all the luxuries of life but I do know that there won’t be any less effort from my side to keep you as good as any other person in the world. I already feel you a part of my life, a part of my family and I just want nothing in this world apart us. I want to go through all the struggle of life with you and I just want you to be there when I will overcome all those to achieve the highest of positions in life and in people’s heart. I want you to be my companion through the times to come. I know there will be good moments and than there will be quarrels. I just want us to look back at every quarrel of us to be a source of ever increasing trust and love.

I don’t know if you will say yes or no but I want you to decide on that. I want you to think hard because I don’t want you to have regrets at the end of your life that you didn’t think the way you should. If you say NO, none of the lives will stop. We will continue to grow, prosper and live our lives. We might remember each other once in a while and shrug our shoulders to continue the way we live but that would be much lesser of the effort than saying YES and trying to live each other lives with responsibility, trust and love. So I request you to think hard. Don’t doubt my commitment or love but think of all the other things you want to think of. So that we can live our lives in the best way possible; either together or apart from each other.

In the end I would just like to remember you one thing. True love is not about having someone in your life but realizing the fact that the other person is of that importance to you. I have found my true love in life. Now I am waiting if fate wants me to have that through out my life.

Awaiting the verdict
Yours loving

Thought of a moment

When I opened my eyes, the clock was ticking 11:00 am. I looked outside the window; it was a bright sunny day outside. Yes, outside it was a bright sunny day but who could see how dark it was inside me. Despite of waking up so late, I was feeling terribly low. First of all, I couldn’t understand why but than I started remembering what happened yesterday night. Something bad happened. Something real bad that kept me awake for unknown time and I don’t know when I depth of the night swallowed me. I was trembling with unknown passions. How could that happened to me? How could I lose that thing? Yesterday I lost something which I thought I own. I lost my soul, I lost my heart.

Some time back, things were all so good. I was a laughing, every happy, take it easy type of person. I was standing in college corridors with my friends and than I saw her. She was the one nature bestowed with all the beauty, all the intelligence and all the arrogance. One of my friends passed a comment and we all started laughing. It was something very normal. We used to do that daily. We were the master of unwanted comments. All was normal but her reaction. She looked at us with her eyes and I made a mistake. I looked into those eyes. Who knew that this moment would bring me to such a milestone where I will rewrite the path of my life? But I never realized this at that moment. I was just little amazed and little sorry. I thought that we made her feel sorry. With all what we are, we don’t have the right to pass comments on someone we don’t know. And I made up my mind then. I will make this up to her: just a few counseling words. This won’t harm our ego too. One of my friends said “rubbish, forget her. The place where she belongs, she’ll treat you a like a dog”. I disagreed at that moment. I should have listened to him than. Why don’t we do something we should do, this is something I can never understand.

I very well remember the day I first talked to her. I was sitting with my buddy when I saw her going about with her friend. Suddenly the thought struck my mind that I wanted to make some good things to her. I sprang on my feet and went to her. “Excuse me” and that was all I could say. I always believed that I can say what ever I want to but at that day, I was so stuck. But than I gathered up my courage and told her that what happened that day was a joke and we never meant it. I wanted to make her sure that we never had that bad intentions. She just said one sentence “don’t worry; I know people do these things just for fun sake. Only if they can understand what other person can go through” and she left. I was left there standing as if cat took my tongue away. I felt sympathy, hatred and so many things for her at that time. Maybe she is arrogant, maybe she is too simple. What ever she is, she should have treated me with more respect. And now when I am writing this incident, I am still confused that in which else manner she could have treated me with. There was no other way she could have.

That small incident never brought us closer than a smile. We used to pass each other the occasional smiles when we see each other. I thought that I would go through whole of my college like this, never knowing what destiny held for me. It was in chemistry lab where this happened. It was our first class. Instructor called for the students to make groups. I was frowning at Omar. He was not there that day. I was looking here and there helplessly trying to find someone with whom I can spend these two long hours with. And then I saw her. She was alone too. Her friend was not with her and she was looking for someone too. One of my other fellows made a voice “make her your group mate”. And I thought that why not. Its just bloody 2 hours. Who knew at that time, that this would end up for something like a life time? I approached her and asked her if she can be my mate for this session. She acknowledged and I was feeling pretty comfortable. She was just a girl at that moment to me. Those two hours were pretty fine. We didn’t talk about anything extra. I observed that she was acting too reserve but hey, who cares. At the end of the lecture, when I started packing my bag up, a sound tied my feet to the ground. It was instructor’s voice telling us to make the today’s arrangement of lab groups permanent for the whole year. I was shocked. I looked at her and thought that how can I spend a whole year with her and I am sure that she was thinking the pretty same thing at that moment. It was all over her eyes. Her eyes are real expression. All what she says or do can be testified on her looks. Anyways, I told her to relax and make group of her choice. I told her that I would adjust with teacher. When I cam outside, Omar was standing outside with the news that he wont be joining me in that class. That was a big ouch which left me in the fix as what to do. She could have been a better option if Omar was not there. More I thought about it, more I got convinced that she should be with me. She’s studious, she’s intelligent and she’s good looking. What else can you want for your group mate considering that you don’t want any special relationship with anyone? But I remember that I gave her my words that I will let her have the partner of her choice. I was plunged into these thoughts when I saw her coming towards me. She looked at me and I felt like she has read my whole mind and I started speaking without any hesitation that she shouldn’t worry and I will talk to instructor to change our group. And I kept saying things unknown until I heard a low voice telling me that she wants to make me her group mate. And I was confused. Is my conscious so loud that I can listen to it speaking my thoughts? Than I realized that it’s not my conscious but her telling me her will. “What???” was all I could utter at that moment? And than I realized that for some unknown reasons she wants to be with me for the lab times. “Wow, that’s cool. Lets do it than”. I said that and with this sentence, I started living a new life. A life whose end was not known to me, a life whose path was undetermined but very clear at the same time. If only could I know that I was walking a path unwanted, I would have stopped right there but who has seen the destiny. I only saw her eyes than and than never got out of them.

We made a very fine group. She was working and I was enjoying her company. Unconsciously we started spending a lot of time together. It always started with studies and than some snacks and than ended with hours of discussions over matter nothing. The more I came to know her, the more I wanted to know. She looked like having many folds. Every time she unfolded her part of personality, there was something more beautiful inside. We shared so many things yet we shared nothing. We became such as close to each other as a personal diary which knows as much you write in it but it’s always safe and good to tell. All the long strolls we had, they started becoming for some unknown reason. And one day I realized that I keep waiting for her to come. I realized that I want her around. When she is not around me, I feel bad and lonely. I look for her perfume around myself. Her presence made me feels so confident, so important so balanced. She made me love life. I started planning things with her in my mind. And than we went to holidays and I realized that I miss her too and I missed her too much. Even she was amazed that why I missed her too much. And then I started to understand something. I was falling for her. I was falling hopelessly in love with her. When I realized this thing, I was so happy in the first instance. But than there were so cruel facts which came to my mind about this that I gave it a long thought.

With all the love I felt for her, I felt that I would like her to be always happy and than I asked myself a question “Am I asking too much?”, and the answer was “Yes”. I realized that she is the star which if with me would decay to nothing. There was a not so subtle difference between me and her. She was beautiful, she was intelligent and she was decent. I was average at all that. She belonged to not so my class. Will she adjust to the environment I live in? Will she become a part of my life? Well, maybe she does but will she be happy? I was very confused with all these questions. And above anything else, I was afraid that what if she denies me of her companionship. I was pretty sure at that moment that if I tell her that I have fallen for her, she would give it a laugh and would tell me to stand in the queue of many others who think the same for her. But I was afraid that what if she stops coming to me, what I would do than? Life would be so boring. For her I would be a common like many friends who are in life at one stage and are gone on the other stage without leaving a trace. But she was not like this to me. She was something I don’t want to lose. And at the same time she looks like someone whom I can’t have. With all these things to think about, I was in the fix as what to do.

And then I decided what to do. I knew what I needed to do and I did exactly that. I refrained myself from her. I tried not meeting her or seeing her. I tried everything to avoid her but only thing I couldn’t do was stop thinking about her. And I let the thoughts be there. Why disturb the thoughts when nobody can see them and that was one big mistake I did. I did try to forget her, I did try to refrain myself to meet her, I did try not to think about her but one thing I couldn’t do was stop loving her.

And today when I know that she’ll be gone for ever after few hours, I feel like broken. Yesterday night, it occurred to me that I gave her my soul along with the heart and I never thought of taking it back. Her flight is after few hours and I am still thinking that if I should tell her how I feel about her. Will it make the difference? Can it make the difference? I know I can live without seeing her for whole my life. I can live without hearing from her for whole of my life but one thing I cannot do is to stop loving her. She is my life. She will be gone and than there might be people in my life. But what would I do if I can’t forget her. What would I do if I keep looking for her? I don’t know if I am doing the right thing by not telling her my feelings and I don’t know if she wants anything like that or not. Maybe that’s the regret I have to live with. She loves me or not, maybe that’s the question which will remain unanswered till eternity and even after that. I always heard that girls are very natural in understanding who love them and who don’t and if its so, than why didn’t she ever showed a sign? Maybe she too wants it to be the untold truth. Maybe she also understands the limitations we both have. Maybe she too understands the consequences we might go through if we tell each other. Or maybe she doesn’t want this to happen. What ever the reason is, I know that this truth will be now hidden forever unless I feel drastically bad to tell her right at the 11^th hour. Or maybe she asks me at this moment. Heart is so full of hope and personality is so full of ego.

And at this moment, I just wish that if only I could tell her without thinking twice that I love her and only if she would tell me the truth how she feels about me, which would be ever lasting priceless moment. But these are the thoughts and life demands so much more from us. And I am now only thinking at the moment “Should I go and see her off? Can I do that? Do I want to do that?” and it is not these questions which are problem but the quest lies in the hope that what if I tell her the truth, what will happen then? It’s the thought of the moment, it’s the thought of the life and it’s the thought which is swallowing me right now.